Learning to Face My Reflection in Recovery With Compassion

I have a question: Have you ever avoided your reflection in fear of what you may see?

I have.

Once upon a time, when I tried to peer into the windows of my soul, I retreated in fear of what I may find.

A Poem Riddled with Pain

I recently read a poem I wrote during my toxic entanglement with Al C. Hol (aka alcohol) entitled Soul-Searching. Though written over 20 years ago, it stirs up the kind of emotions that cause my stomach to turn with angst and discomfort. It was a time when I didn’t know how to express my Self without a drink.

And yes, I was drunk when I wrote it.

My poem, Soul-Searching, will be featured in the upcoming second edition of the book Poetry of Spiritual Promise.

Searching for Self-Love

Though I was serving in the military when the poem was written, I was riddled with doubt, desperation, and diffidence—my everyday crew.

I was searching for some sense of identity that my family, military service, and friends could not provide.

Here are two questions that racked my core:

• Was I capable of giving my Self the compassion and love I so desperately desired?
• What did that even look like?

My Soul Begins to Smile

In recovery, I am learning to lend my Self compassion without apprehension or judgement daily. Some days require more exercise than others.

Nonetheless, I’m stretching my transcendent muscles to smile upon my reflection more and more each day!

For this, I am grateful.

» Be sure to stretch your smile today!

Until next time … Joyous Journey.

Elora