Removing the Mask: The Truth About First Impressions and Authenticity

I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself. — Maya Angelou

I have a question: Do you believe first impressions are everything?

I don’t. That is, unless they are genuine.

I believe the term first impression forces people to present their best Selves first. Some representatives show up for the first 20 seconds, 20 minutes, and even 20+ years. I know this sounds off-putting, I just wonder where does the notion to impress come from?

Why We Wear the Mask

Are we taught at a young age not to show our authentic Selves, to fit the mold of what we think someone wants to see? Recite lyrics we believe another person wants to hear? Are we taught to perform in order to be well received by another person or group of people? How long must the mask remain before we present the one in which we were created?

Furthermore, once the authentic Self is presented, will the spectator(s) embrace both or feel bamboozled from the presentation(s)?

Yes, I have a lot of questions when it comes to this topic. It’s simply curiosity and unanswered inquiries from my own life experiences.

When My Representative Showed Up

And don’t get me wrong - I have shown up as a representative or two (or 10) in my lifetime. Particularly during my drinking days. The result? I lived to regret having an outfit for every occasion, and have since traded the upkeep of makeup for transparency as my go-to eyeliner. The best part? I get to wear ‘chucks’ unapologetically, and there is no concern of whether or not my eyeliner is waterproof! LOL!

Did the risk of showing my authentic Self come with residual doubt and pain? Absolutely. However (comma), the hurt highlighted the spirit of discernment and has given me a greater appreciation of straightforwardness from others.

A Lesson in Removing the Mask in Sobriety

Without a doubt, I have both gained and lost relationships — intimate and otherwise — to the withholding of the mask. From personal experience, the risk of refusing its use was small and short-lived compared to a lifetime of keeping up with color coordination, hairstyles, gestures, and smiles for the next act (person, place, or thing).

One of the many personal lessons from this short play of life thus far — be my Self no matter the preference, opinion, or perception from others. I lovingly challenge you to do the same.

Until next time … Joyous Journey.

Elora