The Raw Truth: What Sobriety Really Looks Like

Let’s keep it real. 

Encouragement is beautiful. Affirmations are necessary. However (comma), in my recovery journey, what caught my attention wasn’t just the “one day at a time” slogans or the perfectly curated quotes and spoken word reels from popular folks on social media. Fun fact: Back in 2007, social media was just starting to take flight.

It was the real stories. The raw confessions. The moments when someone said, “I went back out.” Or, “I was scared when ...” Or even, “I didn’t trust myself anymore.” That’s what made me lean in. That’s what made me stay, because that’s the reality of early sobriety—it’s not always unicorns, rainbows, and running through a field of multi-colored tulips.

Choosing Sobriety Is Scary

Look, choosing sobriety is terrifying. It takes a different kind of courage to walk away from what once felt like your best friend—your nightly glass, that weekend bottle, or the predictable routine you built your day around.

But here’s what’s harder than quitting alcohol: learning how to trust yourself again. Not once, not twice—every second, minute, of every hour. And you might be asking, “Okay, Elora, how do I do that?”

The answer? Through baby steps. Through micro-decisions. By finally facing the things that used to make you numb. They become your greatest teachers.

What Real-Life Sobriety Looks Like

Let me break it down for you. Self-trust in sobriety isn’t always a resounding life-changing experience. Most days, it’s quiet, subtle, and deeply personal. It looks like:

• Going grocery shopping and bypassing the alcohol aisle
• Getting gas without grabbing a six-pack from the mini-mart fridge
• Ordering soda or tea at dinner instead of wine
  
• Taking a trip and not drinking on the way to the airport, in the airport lounge, on the plane, and turning down that free drink after arriving at the all-inclusive resort
  
• Going to SXSW or Jill Scott concerts and holding a bottle of water while still vibing to the music
• Deciding when you're emotionally ready to attend parties—and when you're not
• Saying no to drinks at tailgates, bowling nights, basketball games, or karaoke without guilt
• Watching a movie without “pre-gaming” or pouring something into your cup and sipping between scenes of Black Panther or Sinners
  
• Telling a potential partner that you don’t drink—and walking away if they push it
  
• Skipping that mandatory work mixer or happy hour and choosing your peace instead
  

Sometimes, it means having a plan before you even leave the house: stay 45 minutes max, eat your food, drink your water (or soda water), smile … then treat yourself to your favorite dessert and go home. Me? I always get cheesecake with chocolate syrup on the side. 

Sobriety Will Teach You to Say It With Your Chest

The hardest conversations in sobriety aren’t always with strangers—they’re with people you know, like, and love.

• Telling your family you don’t drink anymore—even if they roll their eyes
• Letting your friends know you’re serious about sobriety—even when they ask you to “just have one” at the Juneteenth cookout while playing dominoes
• Navigating work events where “loosen up” is code for “drink like everyone else.”
• Standing in your truth when someone in church says, “All you need is Jesus,” when you know you also need therapy.

Sobriety will remove the glasses of delusion and show you everything recovery asks of you—and everything you’re truly capable of.

Everywhere You Go … There You Are

You know that feeling at Six Flags, right? Standing in line while gawking at the largest roller coaster—the anticipation, the nervous laughter while getting buckled in the seat, the slow roll and climb, the stomach-in-your-throat drop?

Well … That’s what sobriety feels like at first. (I can’t stop laughing!)
It jerks you. It shakes you. It tests you.
However (comma), eventually … it awakens you.

You’ll cry. You’ll laugh. You’ll sit with things you’ve tried to outrun.
You’ll grow. And most importantly—you’ll stay.

I’m Not Here to Sugarcoat Sobriety

I’m not the kind of recovery coach who only shows you the highlight reel. (I’m still learning how to create them without wanting to throw my phone across the room!) Instead, I walk with you through the real, raw, and restorative parts of recovery.

So if you’re newly sober (or not) and unsure how to navigate that next party, dinner, or invite, here’s what I’ll say:

You don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Keep it simple—Say no.

Replace the old with something new and adventurous, like spending your “drinking money” on things that bring you back to life.

Navigating Life—One Investment at a Time

Here are just a few of the ways I’ve reinvested in my rediscovery of life since becoming sober:

• Pedicures and spa days that remind me I’m worthy of rest
  
• Journals and pens to hold my truth
  
• Therapy and massages that release more than just stress
  
• Plants, literature, and coloring books that feed my spirit and inner child
  
• A custom bowling ball, pool stick, and bicycle that reconnect me to joy (on my wish list)
  
• Roller skates and maybe even a motorcycle (also on my wish list)
  
• Quiet retreats. The beach. Hiking. Loud adventures. A new home. A new way of being.
  

You don’t need alcohol to make life worth celebrating.

You need self-trust.
You need joy.
You need you.

Until next time … stay encouraged.

Elora